Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
