my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
