carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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