So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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