Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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