2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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