..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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