Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
