if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
