There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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