yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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