So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
