Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
