White coat. Heels.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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