Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
