Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
