It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you had me at cake vodka
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
