Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
