You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize