do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
