I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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