Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
