Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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