This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
