I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
