Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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