So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
