how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
