That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Even my vagina gasped.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
