u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
