I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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