Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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