You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
