That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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