I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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