they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
