Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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