Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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