I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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