My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
