I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need water and some morals
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
