R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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