I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
