But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
nutella sex= disaster
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize