you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
