Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
porn star boner night. come get it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
