a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
