margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
