they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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