You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Randomize
