i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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