help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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