Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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