Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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