Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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