Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
