Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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