Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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